the deeper meaning of the sea

I dive a little deeper each time
 reaching
beyond my salt sweat-skin, in an apnea/breath-hold,
beyond the fatal-flaw of fighting for life,
jaws shut, eyes downcast,
 hands finned; extreme free-diving dangerously
 beyond the event-horizon of
the craziest things the deep sea brings -

I drop my heart rate, ba-beat, b a - b e a t,
the water holds me prisoner, a death grip in silence, the sunken tears of
a fearless fool risking the absurdity of whale-song,    my blood flows away from these limbs seeking refuge in the heart, lungs and brain,
I hear the crushing-sea and it draws me
in a resistance to upward movement,
a polyphony without voice,
 lungs aching to burst, to uncork the bottle,
release the Nereid-jinni-in my mono-fin