the seduction of despair

yes, that's the thing,
we expect our desperately depressed friends
to just carry-on,

work inside the conceit of gravity,
have faith that this is as low as it goes - but no,
they often have an agenda dependent upon
their dead-end tunnel-vision,
you don't get me --

you don't understand how deep is my well,
so, I'll go beyond your gravity and
you'll be sorry that I fell ...

something like foreshadow the dark content
of life-disavowed, the faith of reasons not allowed
and the rest is found from here and there,
the little fear that when I'm gone and you're waiting there,
it'll become clear how sorry you'll be for me
not being me anymore:

I'd rather be a ghost
than feel like one,
it's more real for me and i'm being real with my feelings
or lack of them
from now on ...